The EX250's shortcomings

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As yet another riding season comes to a close, I've grown quite fond of my EX250. I have, however, noticed some disturbing problems in the past two years. I believe the EX250 is seriously flawed and should not be allowed to be sold and/or operated on public roads. I know this sounds drastic, but please indulge me for a moment as I explain my position.

1. Graphics & Decals: Major problem with these! Not quite sure what the exact problem is, but these are the first things to be removed. Possibly causes excessive drag, resulting in slower highway speed.

2. Grips: I did not realize that Japanese hand torture devices really existed until I had the pleasure of riding longer than 5 minutes on stock grips.

3. Front turn signals: These obviously protrude much too far from the side of the fairing. Installing flushmounts will correct this deadly hazard.

4. Rear turn signals: See item #3.

5. Center stand: Kawasaki must have used some sort of ultra-dense steel to manufacture this component. At the rate these are removed to lower the bike's weight they must be unusually heavy!

6. Brake Light: The stock brake light is so painfully dim that a Kawasaki engineer secretly designed the rear light pod to accept two more light sockets. Unfortunately, the outer lights were never installed in an effort to keep the weight down on this notoriously overweight machine.

7. Windshield: Major design flaw here! Anyone over three feet tall can tell you this useless lump of plastic couldn't deflect a fly fart. Kawasaki should do the right thing and pay Duke a gazillion dollars for his innovative windshield design.

8. Rear rack (actually, lack of rear rack): Once again Kawasaki should do the right thing and pay Jeb 2 gazillion dollars for yet another innovative design. (Jeb gets 2 gazillion because he had to sub-contract the welding; sorry Duke.)

9. Exhaust system: So poorly designed that it affects the safety of the bike. There are two separate problems here. One: Severely restricts cornering ability. I know I have problems with the pipes dragging when I'm driving around downtown streets. Two: So dangerously quiet that my hearing has been affected. Has to go.

10. Stock Dunlop Tires: I think there may be a pending lawsuit or two for these bad boys. If Kawasaki had any sense they would send notification to current owners to remove the factory rim protectors and install something that actually performs like a motorcycle tire. Maybe Ian can head up a movement to get a service bulletin written, since he loves them so much.

I present these facts as my proof. Don't take my word for it; this bike has been manufactured and sold successfully for the last 18 years or so. I foolishly bought one, and so did all of you! Either we're all crazy or Kawasaki is.

Happy Motoring!

Satire by dizeldawg